Friendly vs Fareham Park United
Date: 21-08-13
Venue: Brookers Field
Result: Fareham Park United 0 - 2 CMS (Wadham, L and Cunningham)
Quotation Corner
Fareham Park United CB ".....insert some silly joke about Loz's shorts"
Loz Wadham "Its because I have gorgeous quads"
Fareham Park United CB's intelligent and witty response "your a din mate and you'll get whacked one day"
There's something ironic about somebody issuing that response but referring to the other person as a din but I will leave that with you.
CMS were thrown a huge curve ball in the shape of Fareham Park United. Under the guise of a Division 6 team, United rolled up and CMS were licking their already salivating lips. What actually took place was an incredibly even match between two teams that will surely be too good for their respective leagues.
CMS began the game without skipper Martin Cole who simply refuses to don the jersey and prefers scouring Europe for ladies with hairier armpits and bigger dicks than him. The opposition consisted of some familiar faces, including Lee Phillips. The CB appeared to have lost none of his love for referees or opposition players as he dished out a verbal battering throughout the 90 minutes with consistent shouts of "two teams here ref" and "just coz your sons playing". The fact that the referee was a certain Mike Richardson actually hindered CMS more than the opposition and in particular his son Ben. Richardson Jnr seemed to be sweating his little Asian balls off at the prospect of performing under the man who's seed he once was. This pressure proved too great and in an act of sheer embarrassment, Richardson did the unthinkable and produced a foul through of the campest proportions.
The first half was an extremely even affair with United having more of the ball and arguable making better use of it. CMS were battling hard and reduced United to few meaningful chances. Importantly, Christian Jones made his debut in goal and filled his comrades with confidence when he proclaimed "I'm playing in goal and I don't know what i'm doing". Jones was actually solid as were the majority of the CMS side, without being spectacular. As the half wore on, the absence of a certain Matthew James Wadham became apparent as the tactical nouse of Chris Cleeve came into question. The only positive Cleeve can cling to was his expert decision making in deciding to pair Joe Archer and Donald Rugge together down the right hand side. The sheer pace and explosiveness of these two whippets was clear to see. At one point I think I actually saw Archer and Rugge combine their pace and come second only to a dead snail!
After United wasted a few opportunities and Cunningham worked the United keeper from range (his 19th shot form 40 yards or more) the first half whistle was blown.
The second half saw the introduction of Mike Smart, Ken Dowell and Demba Garth. It also saw a much better performance from CMS. While the game was still very balanced, CMS began to utilise their pace and strength to their advantage. Loz Wadham was a consistent threat and utilised his gorgeous quads to great effect on a number of occasions. The real talking point of the second half come after 70 minutes when the brothers combined. Now its hard to find a comparison to the sheer influence of these brothers....Phil and Grant Mitchell perhaps (you decide who's who), Kane and the Undertaker - the brothers of destruction, even Phil and Gary Neville came into my thoughts. Alas, I concluded that when you take into account looks, personality, teamwork and a general to me to you attitude - Paul and Barry Chuckle, The Chuckle Brothers are the best description when discussing Tom and Chris Cunningham. When Little Tommy utilised his famed shin pad to lay the ball to the elder of the two, Christopher's eyes lit up and with a drive of the utmost tekkers he slammed the ball into the roof of the United net from 25 yards.
With CMS now in the lead and United beginning to chase the game, Loz Wadham found himself racing through. Like a stabbed rat, he was off after a nod through from midfield dynamo James Hardy. Loz got their before the keeper and coolly slotted home. This was 4 in 4 for the younger Wadham and he is beginning to make a real claim for a starting role at the front end of the CMS line up. With Garth and Loz being described as the Kenyan Olympic team, you can only imagine the problems they caused the United defence when the game was stretched. There was time for a few goal mouth scrambles and a glorious through ball from Dowell, which the aforementioned Wadham beautifully and accurately managed to somehow smash past the goal and expertly land it next to the corner flag!
As the final whistle blew, CMS new they had been in a battle. It was easily their toughest game yet against easily their best opponents. Importantly they came out on top and with a clean sheet in tact.
Roll on September 8th 2013!!!
Match Ratings
Christian Jones 7 Top hands considering he usually handles an egg
Donald Rugge 6 Not his best game
Loz Wadham 8.5* MOM Didn't stop running, terrorised the defenders
Joe Archer 6.5 Battled hard down the right
Ian Hudson 8 Always an outlet in the middle
James Hardy 7.5 Purely for a Merson outside of the boot pass
Richard Perry 8 Controlled his temper well
Gareth Jones 7 Pace was always a threat
Ben Richardson 7 Impressed with his father officiating
Chris Cleeve 7 Typically robust performance
Ken Dowell 7.5 Great second half as he staked a claim for the RB slot
Mike Smart 7.5 Cultured stuff from the big lad
Tom Cunningham 7.5 Driving force in the centre
Chris Cunningham 7.5 The first of many worldies to come
Venue: Brookers Field
Result: Fareham Park United 0 - 2 CMS (Wadham, L and Cunningham)
Quotation Corner
Fareham Park United CB ".....insert some silly joke about Loz's shorts"
Loz Wadham "Its because I have gorgeous quads"
Fareham Park United CB's intelligent and witty response "your a din mate and you'll get whacked one day"
There's something ironic about somebody issuing that response but referring to the other person as a din but I will leave that with you.
CMS were thrown a huge curve ball in the shape of Fareham Park United. Under the guise of a Division 6 team, United rolled up and CMS were licking their already salivating lips. What actually took place was an incredibly even match between two teams that will surely be too good for their respective leagues.
CMS began the game without skipper Martin Cole who simply refuses to don the jersey and prefers scouring Europe for ladies with hairier armpits and bigger dicks than him. The opposition consisted of some familiar faces, including Lee Phillips. The CB appeared to have lost none of his love for referees or opposition players as he dished out a verbal battering throughout the 90 minutes with consistent shouts of "two teams here ref" and "just coz your sons playing". The fact that the referee was a certain Mike Richardson actually hindered CMS more than the opposition and in particular his son Ben. Richardson Jnr seemed to be sweating his little Asian balls off at the prospect of performing under the man who's seed he once was. This pressure proved too great and in an act of sheer embarrassment, Richardson did the unthinkable and produced a foul through of the campest proportions.
The first half was an extremely even affair with United having more of the ball and arguable making better use of it. CMS were battling hard and reduced United to few meaningful chances. Importantly, Christian Jones made his debut in goal and filled his comrades with confidence when he proclaimed "I'm playing in goal and I don't know what i'm doing". Jones was actually solid as were the majority of the CMS side, without being spectacular. As the half wore on, the absence of a certain Matthew James Wadham became apparent as the tactical nouse of Chris Cleeve came into question. The only positive Cleeve can cling to was his expert decision making in deciding to pair Joe Archer and Donald Rugge together down the right hand side. The sheer pace and explosiveness of these two whippets was clear to see. At one point I think I actually saw Archer and Rugge combine their pace and come second only to a dead snail!
After United wasted a few opportunities and Cunningham worked the United keeper from range (his 19th shot form 40 yards or more) the first half whistle was blown.
The second half saw the introduction of Mike Smart, Ken Dowell and Demba Garth. It also saw a much better performance from CMS. While the game was still very balanced, CMS began to utilise their pace and strength to their advantage. Loz Wadham was a consistent threat and utilised his gorgeous quads to great effect on a number of occasions. The real talking point of the second half come after 70 minutes when the brothers combined. Now its hard to find a comparison to the sheer influence of these brothers....Phil and Grant Mitchell perhaps (you decide who's who), Kane and the Undertaker - the brothers of destruction, even Phil and Gary Neville came into my thoughts. Alas, I concluded that when you take into account looks, personality, teamwork and a general to me to you attitude - Paul and Barry Chuckle, The Chuckle Brothers are the best description when discussing Tom and Chris Cunningham. When Little Tommy utilised his famed shin pad to lay the ball to the elder of the two, Christopher's eyes lit up and with a drive of the utmost tekkers he slammed the ball into the roof of the United net from 25 yards.
With CMS now in the lead and United beginning to chase the game, Loz Wadham found himself racing through. Like a stabbed rat, he was off after a nod through from midfield dynamo James Hardy. Loz got their before the keeper and coolly slotted home. This was 4 in 4 for the younger Wadham and he is beginning to make a real claim for a starting role at the front end of the CMS line up. With Garth and Loz being described as the Kenyan Olympic team, you can only imagine the problems they caused the United defence when the game was stretched. There was time for a few goal mouth scrambles and a glorious through ball from Dowell, which the aforementioned Wadham beautifully and accurately managed to somehow smash past the goal and expertly land it next to the corner flag!
As the final whistle blew, CMS new they had been in a battle. It was easily their toughest game yet against easily their best opponents. Importantly they came out on top and with a clean sheet in tact.
Roll on September 8th 2013!!!
Match Ratings
Christian Jones 7 Top hands considering he usually handles an egg
Donald Rugge 6 Not his best game
Loz Wadham 8.5* MOM Didn't stop running, terrorised the defenders
Joe Archer 6.5 Battled hard down the right
Ian Hudson 8 Always an outlet in the middle
James Hardy 7.5 Purely for a Merson outside of the boot pass
Richard Perry 8 Controlled his temper well
Gareth Jones 7 Pace was always a threat
Ben Richardson 7 Impressed with his father officiating
Chris Cleeve 7 Typically robust performance
Ken Dowell 7.5 Great second half as he staked a claim for the RB slot
Mike Smart 7.5 Cultured stuff from the big lad
Tom Cunningham 7.5 Driving force in the centre
Chris Cunningham 7.5 The first of many worldies to come