Friendly vs Locksheath Veterans
Date: 01-08-13
Venue: Fort Blockhouse
Result: Locksheath Veterans 1 - 7 CMS (Cunningham 2, Hardy, Hudson, Heinrich, Jones, Wadham)
"In Zonal Marking We Trust" (Ken Dowell, 2013)
Tonight's fixture was as much about score line dominance as it was about scientific discovery. Allow me to explain. CMS players and fans alike were witness to the experiment that saw the shocking results of what would happen if you drip fed Frodo Baggins copious amounts of Stella. The result - The Vetarans number 7! For the purposes of this report he will be referred to as Angry Frodo.
CMS came into this game high on confidence but without a recognised goalkeeper. Couple this with an opposing team who had an angry hobbit in their ranks and you have tension in the air. It is fair to say that the Vets had their fair share of the ball throughout the first third and only the tactical guile of MJW held them at bay. CMS were disciplined and pressed the ball at every opportunity which limited the Vets to aimlessly going from left to right which was as useful as concrete slippers in a swimming pool. Despite being tactically sound, some naïve and quite frankly juvenile defending from Smith led to a Veteran's penalty which was slotted home with precision.
CMS had not experienced being behind in their short but illustrious history thus far. How would they cope?
As the third powered on, the pace quickened and CMS began to use their speed and strength to really get amongst their prehistoric opponents. The first opportunity of an equaliser falling to Tom Cunningham, who rather than simply score from 5 yards out decided to make use of his Toblerone shaped shin pads to shank the ball inexplicably past the post. Luckily another Cunningham came to the party and following some nice build up and a through ball from Stefan Heinrich, he calmly drew CMS level. From this moment the Vets did not look comfortable and their passing game deserted them. Angry Frodo was particularly spewing when James Hardy pointed out the fact they were bottling it at the back. It was Hardy himself who grabbed the lead for CMS after 'False 9' Martin Cole laid off a simple ball for the aforementioned to slot into an almost empty net.
With osteoporosis setting in, the Vets really began to lose their way. A sublime mixture of sturdy defence and blistering counter attack was the key......oh and a sprinkle of marauding Matthew Wadham! As the third drew to a close, MJW was released by Cunningham and took advantage of their keeper rushing out like a startled gazelle to lob the ball (very, very slowly) over the charging bafoon.
MJW rang the changes including a change of keeper. This time opting for clean sheet expert Chris Cunningham as opposed to Donald 'always prone to a lob' Rugge. The third began much like its predecessor with Angry Froddo unleashing his verbal fury on whoever would listen. CMS seemed to be in utter control at this point with Smith and Curson finding themselves with time to spare at the back. Most importantly, this third saw the debut of big time Black Magic - Demba Garth. While Demba drew most attention from the fans, it was the jinking and planking antics of Chris Scerri that bought the crowd into raptures; firstly for his unbelievable jinkyness that would rival that of jink leader Rich Claxton and secondly for his clattering challenge with an 16 stone animal, in which Scerri definitely came off worse with a plank like fall.
As if Scerri's behaviour was not enough, Demba proceeded to frustrate the fans who had so much hope as only the keeper stopped him from running out of pitch. However, cometh the hour cometh the man as the big African set Heinrich free for the latter to rasp a curler into the far corner with Theirry Henry like precision. With the score at 4-1 Angry Froddo truly lost his head in a fashion that only a booze fuelled hobbit is capable of! Heinrich was the wrong end of 'The fury of Baggins'. As the fury subsided and with CMS without the controversial Rich Perry, Sam Smith took control and initiated zonal marking at every possible set piece. As this was the first time such a tactic had been used we were very much like midgets at the urinals ....... on our toes! Despite the apprehension CMS took to zonal marking and it appears it is here to stay for the season ahead.
With CMS at 4-1 and the final third approaching it appeared that Tom Cunningham had been let know by the opposition. Only for it later to become clear that some skin had vacated the sole of his foot. The word 'ponce' was flying around but such name calling has since died down.
The final third can only be described as similar to the last 5 in a cup final. CMS were rampant and the Vets were shattered. Their combined age of two thousand conspired against them as Cunningham found a lot of space in the centre and Hudson began to come to the fore of the game. The start of the rout was initiated by an early goal of the season contender. The CMS players worked the ball from back to front with silky one touch football before the two ethnic minorities Scerri and Demba combined for Garths first in CMS colours. Next up was another first, Ian Hudson striking the ball from 25 yards and clearing the goalkeeper. While it was a lovely strike, the keeper was hindered somewhat by his Zimmer frame. Stretching into the final few moments Cunningham raced through and rounded the keeper before walking the ball into the net.
The final moments of the game saw the referee bottle a few more decisions and Angry Hobbit bare down on Smith in goal. Fortunately Smith was more than up to the test which left the Vets with a 7-1 defeat and the Angry Hobbit with just his Stella for comfort.
Up the CMS!
Match Ratings
Donald Rugge 7 Ever the roaming full back
Loz Wadham 8 Solid again
Ian Hudson 7 Engine
Martin Day 7 Solid in posession
James Hardy 8 Almost a second MOM award
Jack Curson 7 Simple and Effective
Chris Scerri 7 Jinky as ever
Stefan Heinrich 8 Continues his goal scoring start
Chris Cunningham* 8.5 *MOM Ran the Game
Tom Cunningham 7 Ponce
Martin Cole 8 Creative force
Sam Smith 7.5 Zonal expertise were crucial
Matt Wadham 7 Wonderfully taken goal
Joe Archer 7 Hangover got the better of him
Ben Richardson 7 Professional Display
Gareth Jones 7 Always an option in behind
Venue: Fort Blockhouse
Result: Locksheath Veterans 1 - 7 CMS (Cunningham 2, Hardy, Hudson, Heinrich, Jones, Wadham)
"In Zonal Marking We Trust" (Ken Dowell, 2013)
Tonight's fixture was as much about score line dominance as it was about scientific discovery. Allow me to explain. CMS players and fans alike were witness to the experiment that saw the shocking results of what would happen if you drip fed Frodo Baggins copious amounts of Stella. The result - The Vetarans number 7! For the purposes of this report he will be referred to as Angry Frodo.
CMS came into this game high on confidence but without a recognised goalkeeper. Couple this with an opposing team who had an angry hobbit in their ranks and you have tension in the air. It is fair to say that the Vets had their fair share of the ball throughout the first third and only the tactical guile of MJW held them at bay. CMS were disciplined and pressed the ball at every opportunity which limited the Vets to aimlessly going from left to right which was as useful as concrete slippers in a swimming pool. Despite being tactically sound, some naïve and quite frankly juvenile defending from Smith led to a Veteran's penalty which was slotted home with precision.
CMS had not experienced being behind in their short but illustrious history thus far. How would they cope?
As the third powered on, the pace quickened and CMS began to use their speed and strength to really get amongst their prehistoric opponents. The first opportunity of an equaliser falling to Tom Cunningham, who rather than simply score from 5 yards out decided to make use of his Toblerone shaped shin pads to shank the ball inexplicably past the post. Luckily another Cunningham came to the party and following some nice build up and a through ball from Stefan Heinrich, he calmly drew CMS level. From this moment the Vets did not look comfortable and their passing game deserted them. Angry Frodo was particularly spewing when James Hardy pointed out the fact they were bottling it at the back. It was Hardy himself who grabbed the lead for CMS after 'False 9' Martin Cole laid off a simple ball for the aforementioned to slot into an almost empty net.
With osteoporosis setting in, the Vets really began to lose their way. A sublime mixture of sturdy defence and blistering counter attack was the key......oh and a sprinkle of marauding Matthew Wadham! As the third drew to a close, MJW was released by Cunningham and took advantage of their keeper rushing out like a startled gazelle to lob the ball (very, very slowly) over the charging bafoon.
MJW rang the changes including a change of keeper. This time opting for clean sheet expert Chris Cunningham as opposed to Donald 'always prone to a lob' Rugge. The third began much like its predecessor with Angry Froddo unleashing his verbal fury on whoever would listen. CMS seemed to be in utter control at this point with Smith and Curson finding themselves with time to spare at the back. Most importantly, this third saw the debut of big time Black Magic - Demba Garth. While Demba drew most attention from the fans, it was the jinking and planking antics of Chris Scerri that bought the crowd into raptures; firstly for his unbelievable jinkyness that would rival that of jink leader Rich Claxton and secondly for his clattering challenge with an 16 stone animal, in which Scerri definitely came off worse with a plank like fall.
As if Scerri's behaviour was not enough, Demba proceeded to frustrate the fans who had so much hope as only the keeper stopped him from running out of pitch. However, cometh the hour cometh the man as the big African set Heinrich free for the latter to rasp a curler into the far corner with Theirry Henry like precision. With the score at 4-1 Angry Froddo truly lost his head in a fashion that only a booze fuelled hobbit is capable of! Heinrich was the wrong end of 'The fury of Baggins'. As the fury subsided and with CMS without the controversial Rich Perry, Sam Smith took control and initiated zonal marking at every possible set piece. As this was the first time such a tactic had been used we were very much like midgets at the urinals ....... on our toes! Despite the apprehension CMS took to zonal marking and it appears it is here to stay for the season ahead.
With CMS at 4-1 and the final third approaching it appeared that Tom Cunningham had been let know by the opposition. Only for it later to become clear that some skin had vacated the sole of his foot. The word 'ponce' was flying around but such name calling has since died down.
The final third can only be described as similar to the last 5 in a cup final. CMS were rampant and the Vets were shattered. Their combined age of two thousand conspired against them as Cunningham found a lot of space in the centre and Hudson began to come to the fore of the game. The start of the rout was initiated by an early goal of the season contender. The CMS players worked the ball from back to front with silky one touch football before the two ethnic minorities Scerri and Demba combined for Garths first in CMS colours. Next up was another first, Ian Hudson striking the ball from 25 yards and clearing the goalkeeper. While it was a lovely strike, the keeper was hindered somewhat by his Zimmer frame. Stretching into the final few moments Cunningham raced through and rounded the keeper before walking the ball into the net.
The final moments of the game saw the referee bottle a few more decisions and Angry Hobbit bare down on Smith in goal. Fortunately Smith was more than up to the test which left the Vets with a 7-1 defeat and the Angry Hobbit with just his Stella for comfort.
Up the CMS!
Match Ratings
Donald Rugge 7 Ever the roaming full back
Loz Wadham 8 Solid again
Ian Hudson 7 Engine
Martin Day 7 Solid in posession
James Hardy 8 Almost a second MOM award
Jack Curson 7 Simple and Effective
Chris Scerri 7 Jinky as ever
Stefan Heinrich 8 Continues his goal scoring start
Chris Cunningham* 8.5 *MOM Ran the Game
Tom Cunningham 7 Ponce
Martin Cole 8 Creative force
Sam Smith 7.5 Zonal expertise were crucial
Matt Wadham 7 Wonderfully taken goal
Joe Archer 7 Hangover got the better of him
Ben Richardson 7 Professional Display
Gareth Jones 7 Always an option in behind